If elected, Barack Obama will name Oprah Winfrey his vice president, double our tax money at the craps tables, put Regis on the nickel and appoint Mitt Romney the “Secretary of Lookin’ Good.”

These are among the campaign promises Obama made while delivering a funny Top 10 segment on The Late Show with David Letterman …

“I will pronounce the world nuclear, nuclear!”

Not surprisingly, Tony Rezko was not mentioned. Although we’re pretty sure Barack wishes he could hide him away somewhere.